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Late Confession

March 29, 2015 Jeff Forrester
Late Confessions 2.jpg

 

I bow before the Mahasiddha,

The Source of All Names,

who hears these frail words

cast out to the storm for His discernment.

 

I bow before my Sovereign Lord,

The Principle of Understanding,

who shook off all garments of crude religion

long before we ever thought to ourselves.

 

I bow before my Holy Guru,                                                             

Man of still-water eyes ,

always first to forgive,

then, sudden as a ripple, to demand.

  

I bow before my Chosen Prince,

Master of Wildness,

who taught us in the way of women: 

skin over thought, love over will, feeling over plan.

 

I bow before my Gracious Master,

Curer of the Loveless Heart,

who trains my pride into balance,

as a dog can learn a single human word, exactly. 

 

I bow before my Illustrious Host,

Tireless Servant of His Devotee,

who made a solemn oath to me through mother's ear

before I left the womb.

 

I bow before my Silent Witness,

Whose Bare Feet Leave No Tracks,

in whose Presence I now kneel—

a riddle for the iris: why He can’t be seen.

 

I bow before my Only King,

The Steadfast Inner Ruler,

whose walking staff inks black my spine,

in a law that binds past death. 

  

I bow before my Laughing Man,

Maker and Breaker of All Rules,

at whose feet I set the splintered bones

of all my love and lover-killing births. 

 

I bow before my God of Mercy,

Who Drowns The Heart In Forgetfulness,

who crippled me with His coldest eye

to make this root move softer in the soil.

 

I bow before my Outcast Savior,

Whose Body Eclipses the Brightness of Suns,

who has no power to turn away

from those who turn from Him.

 

I bow before my Humble Servant,

Whose Body Is Constant Prasad, 

whose single hair lies curled in my locket,

hung on a tarnished silver chain.

 

I bow before the Human-Bodied Mystery,

Whose Loving Glance Unbinds the Self,

who adores our fresh cut tulips in the morning,

knowing they’ll only last a day.

  

I bow before the Howling Gale,

Great-Bellied Messenger of Truth,

who severs men’s heads at first meeting

to order all future exchange .

 

I bow before the Open-Handed Yogi,

Who Gives The Siddhi Of Gratitude ,

with a well-timed whip

that’s stopped this donkey’s hoof at the tip of many cliffs. 

 

I bow before the Source of Paradox,

The Obvious,

who weaves our bodies in a veil

through which all light may run.

 

I bow before the Love of Lovers,

Whose Name is Known by Devotion,

who nodded His head to my drumbeat once

sitting close in the summer sun.

 

I bow before the Conscious Light,

Rainbow-Hued, Devoid of All Color,

who holds a mirror before the face

so it can be more easily lost.

 

I bow before the Diamond-Bladed Warrior,

Still Eye In The Hurricane of Form,

who eats and eats the coming dark

that will nearly blind the earth.

 

I bow before the All-Consuming Fire,

Lone Companion of the Heart,

who carries me through hells I thought were fables

about which I will never speak.  

 

I bow before the Turner of the Wheel,

Unfading Friend of the Earth,

buried in repose, cross-legged,

facing West in the blood of all our lands.

 

I bow before the Master Dancer,

The Perfect Devotee,

who taught me that to bend my head before a sage

is to wake up from below .

 

I bow before the One Who Has No Equal,

Restorer of the Secret Way,

who pours His heart through every chest

like paper lamps along a chasm's wall.

 

I bow before the Knee of Listening,

Amrita Nadi,

the curving river of nectar— you

who read these lines in time.

 

I bow before the One In Whom There Is No Difference, 

Sacred Mirror Who Reflects All Things,

I've told you what I know of Him.

I am a lover who murdered his King.  

 

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